Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in vernice04's LiveJournal:

[ << Previous 20 ]

Tuesday, May 13th, 2008
10:51 am	The coolest thing: When I made meatloaf yesterday, I overfilled the pan, causing liquid to spill over and burn onto the pan. I thought to put aluminum foil under the pan to catch most of the liquid before making a mess all in the stove. But the pan, what a mess. What to do? I hurriedly took the meatloaf out of the pan and threw the dish into the pan, still hot. Then I put some fabric softener and liquid soap in the water. I had read a long time ago that fabric softener would release the hold of burnt on foods, and it did. The pan came out all clean. It was rather amazing. I even showed how easy it was to clean to Hannah, as she was in the kitchen making glazed pecans. It was fascinating that it worked so well. Thankfully Hannah, then Jon, acted as thrilled as I did. Good family I got :). (Comment on this)
Sunday, May 11th, 2008
9:38 pm	Today I know that I am loved, not that I don't think that other days. But today, I KNOW it. Jon made plans with the children to give me a day of relaxing with a great meal. I had put out ground meat to make meatloaf, but Jon explained that I wouldn't need to cook today. At that time, I assumed that I would be going out to dinner. Nope. My family would make a wonderful dinner for me. Hannah made a Mediterranean chicken couscous main dish, Meggan made a potato, kind of like a twice baked potato dish, Natasha a challow bread and Jon an apple pie. It was delicious. No, it was better than that. It was delicio---os. Yummy and beautiful too. I was shooed out of the kitchen several times after my attempts to help. Turns out that I have a hard time not helping cook, clean, shop, or at least... something. I opened wonderfully heartfelt cards, to which I teared up to. I tear up every year, so that isn't unusual, but I love it. That's all I have to say about that (no, I am not Forest Gump, ha ha). Then, thanks to being all rested, not cooking and all, I jumped with Natasha and Hannah on the trampoline. I did a flip, to which my stomach did a full somersault, made my belly tickle in a way I had forgotten it could do. I tried to jump enough, with enough momentum, to land on my buttocks (still not Forest Gump) then jump to my feet again. I tried about six or seven times, then I finally did it! Yes, at almost 43 I can still maneuver a trampoline sit and jump to my feet. Okay, I only did that twice, but it still counts, ha ha. Then, we decided that we should get out the radio. I turned on the radio, then Hannah and I played frozen trampoline. I thought it was lots of fun. I closed my eyes, groped for her and just listened to her laughter. I love hearing her laugh... Once, I remember looking at all of my children together, thinking what a wonderful group of people they are, how much I love them, how lucky I am to have them, and what a wonderful dad they have to make the effort to remind me how great they are, to lead the way to show how to express their appreciation for me. He is like the light in a showcase box, highlighting them, while knowing if not for him, none of this would exist. (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 30th, 2008
9:11 am	Jon asked me to write an entry regarding our train ride on Saturday night. I said I couldn't remember enough, but thought I'd give it a shot anyway. So, here goes. It started on Marta with the train being so full that we were left standing. Being so full probably accounted for the heat inside the train, as it was really insufferably hot. It wasn't long though that my mind was distracted from the heat with the impromptu entertainment provided. A funny, gregarious black female, who we'll call "Silly", who apparently doesn't have a shy bone in her body, started a funny repertoire with another passenger. The first passenger was a twentiesh year old white guy, who the lady apparently offered a dollar to do some particular thing, to which I am not aware of what it was specifically, as this is when I started noticing the conversation. Another youngish white guy, passenger number two, responded that he'd give the lady a dollar if she wouldn't pay the other guy. Silly said "let me see the money", to which passenger number two replied "do you accept credit?" Silly said "hell no", with a laugh. This was followed by some innuendos that had people chuckling and interested. At the next stop, these guys all got off the train. Fun over? No, it had just begun. At this stop, a group of four friends got onto the train. Oh, and one who didn't appear to be with the four men, who looked "high as a kite": drooping eyelids, red eyes, a goofy smile, and a "far out" look. Silly looked at "pot head" and said "Man, I'll have some of what you're having, it looks gooood." Pot Head just smiled a look that implied, "yeah man, it's groovy sh**." Anyhow, back to the four friends. One of these friends (passenger number three) took the seat vacated by the previous number two passenger. He said "man this seat is hot, must've been some fat dude sitting here or something." Everyone on the train kind of just laughed, to which he started looking around, wondering what the personal joke was. This started a lady behind him to imply that "the something" caused the heat in the train, fogged the windows up, and .... yeah, maybe the smell. Passenger number three said, nah, that smell, you think it is just rubber burning, but that is the smell of condoms burning rubber", ya know....... as if he did it, in all the pertinent ways people use condoms, but him being all that.... This went on for a while, but never in a way that was inappropriate, if that makes sense: no use of profanity, no gestures, no personal intent to anyone specifically, just go with the flow humor. Then, the guys friends, started "chickening" passenger number three to convince him that he could indeed jump far enough to get to over the train rails to the other side of the concrete slab. Passenger number three said, "Man, I'll bet you this five dollar bill that is torn in half if you'll jump it. I'll even give you the bigger half." For some reason, I thought the idea of giving someone the bigger half of a torn bill as hilarious. I think probably it was the adrenaline of a great game, the crowds energy, and the uncomfortableness of the heat that caused this whole exchange to actually be as funny as it was. Looking back at it, it feels like a bunch of people just being silly. Or maybe, it was the fun at losing ourselves in someone elses jest for a moment, crazy as it seemed to be. Who knows? But, I'll take it, as one of my favorite things is to hear exchanges between other people. I forgot to mention though, as Silly got off the train, she said, "Well, time to get to work." Everyone looked astonished and someone said, "Man, you going to work?" Silly acknowledged that we had heard right, to which everyone laughed at as we got off the train. To end this, I just want to say that I was glad to have been on that train and not one that was air conditioned and "normal". Makes it clear that even in an uncomfortable environment, one can benefit from another in some way. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, July 27th, 2007
3:19 pm	Ugh. One of the reasons I don't get on LJ too much is that I find I waste too much time. I might just be slower than most people. I don't know. I just had to write about our day at Six Flags though. Yesterday, the girls, all three of them, and I went to Six Flags for a lot of the day. We started the day off kind of slow and ended it with a bang, as both Hannah and Meggan rode rides that they normally won't ride, so that means I got to ride lots of fun rides too. Yay me. As I said, the day started off slow with us riding the typical stuff we always do: I start with the Ga. Cyclone, which I won't be riding anymore because it hurt my head and neck way too much, as does the Scream Machine. They are just too rickety and jerky, and that used to not bother me at all, but it appears it does now, extremely so. Then we headed over to the Mine Train, Hanson Cars and the bumper cars, there we refilled drinks and headed to the water park, Skull Island. Very routine creatures are we, but I usually ask after every ride what the children want to do next, and it is the same ole thing every time. Oh, Meggan will separate at some point with her friend, if one comes along, but it's the same for Hannah and me. The day will continue with us meeting up and all together riding Thunder River right before the end of the day. This day was different. For one, we started off on the Wiley Coyote roller coaster, small, less than a minute long, 58 seconds to be exact because we timed it. Hannah decided she would ride it, and she loved it! Let me explain how big of a big deal this is for her. To push herself, Hannah has made a goal to always ride the Mine Train each and every time we go to the park this season, and she looks plain scared, even saying, "Don't touch me"! Very stern like, because she can't stand the second of being distracted from gripping her hands into the handle. She makes me hold her hand, but only I can touch her, and only on her hands usually. So, to make the move to go on another roller coaster was almost unbelievable. She did go to the park saying that she was definitely going to ride Splash Water Falls for her first time with Natasha specifically, but that was all I expected from her. Even that I wasn't sure she'd go through with, but indeed she did. Much to my surprise, she also rode the the log ride too. As I mentioned earlier, Meggan usually separates from us, and that was the case this time too. She and Natasha went to ride the Mind Bender, only the best roller coaster ever in my opinion, which Tasha had warned her earlier that she really wanted Meggan to ride it with her. After Meggan rode this, there was no stopping them. They rode the Ga. Cyclone, Batman, and the Ga. Scorcher all consecutively. At the Ga. Scorcher is where we all met up again, and I rode it twice in a row, as the lines were barely existent while Hannah and Meggan got rehydrated and ate some peanuts. Natasha rode with me, and once we even got the front car. It was great, and the first time I got to ride it all season. Then, we rode the log ride where we got a great picture of us riding down the longest water fall. It is a picture that I will treasure because we are all together having a great time. We then went to Thunder River and Splash Water Falls where again, the lines were almost nonexistent. Making great time, we decided to run to the Goliath roller coaster, and run we had to to make it before the park closed. We barely made it in time too because we made several wrong turns, and we were running hills and everything, me even carrying the book bag and other stuff. But, make it we did..... barely. Now this is some huge roller coaster. We were up at night, and could see the whole city at the top of it, with all the lights blazing, and I swear we were climbing this thing at a 90 degree angle to get to the top. Sheez, it was tall.... and long.... and just the funnest ever! We laughed and screamed and had the most fun ending to this great day. We got the picture to prove this too. I looked terrified, Tasha looked all relaxed like she does things like this everyday, and Meggan.... I don't even know how to describe how she looked, maybe just miserable that the ride was ending. Because Meggan now loves roller coasters!!!! We basically closed the park last night getting home around 10:30, which I felt kind of bad for Jon, barely seeing us last night. But, as we were driving home, we were all kept saying that it was the funnest day we'd had in a long time. Each of us felt content with our day, feeling successful in trying new things, getting to do things we each wanted to do. And, we felt close, and I noticed today that the girls still look happy, sharing a great comaraderie as they play WII and doing some house work. Mentioning work, it is getting too late, so off to cleaning I must. Tonight, we eat out, and I am hungry! (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, March 30th, 2007
1:28 pm	There is a hill near the parking lot where the children take karate lessons. Both Hannah and Meggan recently got motivated to see if they can successfully climb it, but it is pretty steep. The first day they tried to go up it was last Thursday, but Hannah had on sandals, so she didn't make it more than half way, while Meggan made it all the way up in her tennis shoes. Hannah was mad that she didn't make it all the way to the top, while Meggan was grinning victoriously at the top. This made for some awkwardness for me, congratulating one while encouraging the other to try again. Then, I just let it go. After all, life is full of successes and failures. We each will have our fair share of each. And, we'll each have very our own conversations inside our head of what to do about it too. That is just life. So, Hannah wore tennis shoes this past Monday. She again attempted to climb it. She kept sliding down onto her knees and stomach, meaning her outfit got plenty dirty, but she made it!!!! Hannah was grinning victoriously then too with Meggan, and Meggan was happy for both herself and Hannah. Meggan had even caught Hannah a few times to give her encouragement on the way up the hill. And by the way, they are now blue belts. Next, I believe they are going to try for their green belts. I have noticed that they are picking up on the routines much faster as time goes by. I can't believe that they have been in karate for about a year and a half or more now. Time flies by. (Comment on this)
12:19 pm	I am soooo happy that it is raining some. I went outside and almost started doing the dance of joy upon seeing the rain. I want it to pour so that it will wash away all the pollen particles. I am tired of feeling the dry film of dust on everything, and my sinuses are unhappy too. So, please rain. And rain. And just keep raining, until all the nasty debris is gone. (Comment on this)
9:57 am	Date Night So, Jon and I went out this past Wednesday to a Korean/Japanese restaurant named Saole Garden, I believe. I saw the name Garden, and thought it would be something I would maybe like, because I like vegetables. I also like tofu, and was thinking that perhaps I could find something along these lines when we chose this particular place to eat. No. After looking over the menu several times, trying to decide what I'd like to eat, I didn't see anything that fell among these types of food. We decided to try sushi, as I have only had it once and thought it might be something I'd like to try again. After several attempts to figure out how the menu worked, requiring the manager to educate us some, we decided to try a couple of items. However, when they brought the sushi part of the meal to our table, it was a buffet of about six dishes. The first thing I saw that looked somewhat vegetable-like was anchovies, much to my dismay. I don't know why, but it looked like some slivered green peppers to me at first, or something to that affect. I was crunching on it, thinking it was a vegetable, confused about the flavor, when I looked down to see these little eyes staring back at me. Now look, I didn't particular dislike the taste, but I don't like the idea of munching eyeballs. It made me feel a little squirmy. Then, I was sure this other fishy jelly looking concoction was raw fish, and decided to dive into it to just get over my willy nillies, and I was quite proud of myself-- for a minute. Until the manager came over again and said that it was in fact acorn jelly. Hmmm, well as far I was concerned, I'd done my test tasting for the day, even telling Jon that it still counted as sushi, since that is what "I thought I was eating" ha ha. Then, Jon was saying how this other stringy looking thingy tasted good, but I kept thinking this was eel tripe, which I had seen on the menu too. I just couldn't for a second, but decided to just try this too. Turns out this was some other vegetable cooked in some red spicy sauce. So, I didn't really eat any sushi at all, I don't believe. Turns out mind over matter is very powerful. I did end up ordering a short rib type of barbeque dish. It tasted good, but there was so much fat in each bite that I felt like I was spitting back more than I could swallow. Doesn't that sound gross? I tried to be very discreet, but still.... Not a very romantic partner was I. Jon didn't seem to notice. He looked to enjoy his meal completely. I wouldn't have been able to eat his either, as it had a mess of raw oysters sitting on the plate. He kept politely offering me his food, but no, I mean no thank you. I did like the wine, but because of little food, and my having had cut back on drinking for the last few months, this resulted in me feeling nice and tipsy. I certainly wasn't drunk, but the wine did hit me faster than it normally seems to. I think it was because I'd exercised before we went out too, and hadn't drank much water. Overall, I was ready for bed before Jon that night to sleep. I think oysters are supposed to be an aphrodisiac, but if it is, I wouldn't know :(. The next day, I woke up feeling sick to my stomach. I could barely manage to make myself eat anything until late morning, then only a little. I wouldn't even drink any coffee until much later in the afternoon for fear that I would be throwing up. Today, I am feeling somewhat better, not completely better, but a big improvement, and tonight, I want "normal" food. Aside from the food though, I enjoyed being out with Jon very much. He is delightful in the way he is willing to try new foods with such gusto. He didn't react bad to my reaction to the food either. To be honest, I really didn't care that I didn't really "like" the food. I like the ambiance and company more than the food mostly anyway. So, still, I did have a very nice evening. And, I must mention that the staff was very helpful and polite. They went out of their way to instruct us on our food choices, and the way to even eat it to comply with the "Korean way". So, again, a very interesting, adventurous, nice evening out with my hubby. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, March 23rd, 2007
2:29 pm	You know what stinks? To start making chili, only to get to the point where you need to add the spice, and there isn't any. Well there is SOME, only it is the really spicy Indian chili powder that would make it inedible if I used this as the primary spice. I usually can only add about a tablespoon or less of the Indian chili powder to add flavor, not to over power the taste. What to do?????? (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 14th, 2007
4:10 pm	Shhhh No one is going to like dinner. I had some left over yuka, which I found wasn't quite so hard to peel this time, that I wanted to use up. I talked to some people at work who gave me tips on how to peel them more efficiently. Then I had some plantain bananas that I wanted to cook also. I mixed these two items together, flavored them, and baked them. I have no idea what this will taste like, as I am experimenting with these flavors. Plus, I am making salmon which the children don't like either. I will probably add something else that the children will like, but I don't foresee this being a very pleasing meal to anyone but me, as I like flavors like these. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
4:03 pm	A Poem Written by Hannah SNOW I love to see the shining moonlight covering the frosty snowflakes in the forest trees. To see the bluejays warm with their baby chicks in the tall mountains. When the sun comes out and the snow melts and the birds and planes go soaring high. And the twinkling sea will have newborn fish and otters swimming freely. I hope to see these things again and discover the many wonders of earth. (Comment on this)
Thursday, March 1st, 2007
10:54 am	This IS my last entry/letter I'll write today. But, this has stuck in my mind some, and maybe writing it down will help clear my mind. Last Thursday, as the children were in karate, I went to clean the van. It had been awfully cluttered and nasty, and needed it really bad. But, the only place I could see to clean it was kind of in this isolated spot that didn't feel all that safe. However, when I pulled into the car wash, there was a police officer washing his cruiser, so I felt safe enough then. I started vacuuming the van first. While I was doing this, the police man left without me really noticing. But, I was aware that he'd left at some point, and the only people left were me and this car that had a couple of pretty burly looking men cleaning a car. They were in front of me, so I felt safer that way and continued cleaning the van, but I was trying to get done quickly. However, while I was running the vacuum, and I couldn't hear him, one of the men came up behind me. I turned around and there he was. He asked if I had a light, which I said I did. Maybe I should've said no, but it didn't register for me to lie. I went around the van to the driver side of the car, saw my keys, and got the lighter for him (he was on the passenger side at this point). The man started reaching into the van to get the lighter, but I threw it to him at the same time, and I kind of made light of it when it thumped him on the chest and fell to the ground. He bent over to get it, then handed it back to me back across the seat. I went ahead and took it, again wondering, why he didn't just throw it back. Too, I was wondering why he didn't have a car lighter in his own car. I know some cars don't have them these days, but this car didn't look like it was made in the last couple of years. I felt unsafe and threatened by this guys actions. I trust in my gut instinct enough too to think I should've listened to my first gut intuition, that maybe it was risky to go to an isolated area in the dark by myself. I didn't want to act intimidated by this guy at the same time, as I feel that strengthens ones ego at times. Maybe it was nothing, and I am making something into it that wasn't there. I don't know, I just know I felt exposed and mad at myself at the same time. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
7:53 am	Meggan turns fourteen!!! Jon already wrote of this in his journal, so I made myself not look at his entry until I wrote my own. I wanted to write from my own perspective, and not be influenced by his thoughts. So Meggan is now fourteen years old. I have some sad feelings associated with that. I realize that my children are all getting older and will leave home in no time at all. I even, kiddingly, said that I need to just have another baby. Meggan said, how will you do that with daddy, you shouldn't cheat. I said, I would never do such a thing. She said, I know, you guys are too lovey dovey for that. That's nice that she sees us as that way. I believe we mostly do a good job demonstrating a healthy relationship for our children, but we do have our moments. That's just because we are both stubborn and opinionated about certain things. But mostly, we do good. But about Meggan's birthday: She is a wonderful person. She shows gratitude, doesn't have unrealistic expectations, and seems comfortable with her being the center of attention without exhibiting showiness nor insincerity. I don't know if those descriptions make sense, and it is hard to describe how I mean it. But, I'll try a little. Maybe by explaining the night, it would make more sense. Meggan had already received her biggest gift for Christmas, which was a lap top that was a combo Christmas and birthday present, with some gifts on the side. For her birthday, we had made it clear that it would be small in comparison to our normal gift giving. I, with quite a bit of help from Hannah, did make her a nice dinner, which was lemon cake, lasagna, garlic bread and salad. Tasha came over, ate with us, hung around a little after, and gave Meggan a body spray that Meggan always compliments Natasha on when she has wears it. We bought Meggan three new music CD's, and a computer music CD that will allow her to remix her own CD's. I am not sure how that works yet, but if she gets into it, I think she'll like it a lot. Specifically, the thing is, I could only find one of the three CD's Meggan had on her list as the ones she really wanted. So, I bought her two other ones that I wasn't really sure she'd like, but chances are she will, as she likes almost any music. Meggan didn't seem unhappy with my choices, even though they weren't the ones she had chosen. She was just happy to get one of the three CD's and took off to listening that one right away. So, as one might be able to tell, this was a very minimized version of her normal birthday celebration, but she was still grateful and appreciative. Of course Jon, being the great dad he is, bought her flowers and wrote her a birthday letter. She said the letter was better than any of the cards. She smiled at the camera beautifully for pictures, said thank you several times, and even the next morning, said thank you again, very happily like. As for the flowers, she said, "Mom, how do I cut these, what vase should I use?" I told her how, and told her she had better learn how to do this, as she will be getting lots of flowers in her life time. She just smiled. I liked that. Sometimes a smile is worth a million words, as it was at that moment. That sums up how I feel about the whole night: as if it was all a beautiful serene smile. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, February 23rd, 2007
2:43 pm	Perplexed I don't get why people would be responding to the judge who cried during the Anna Nicole Smith ruling as a big deal, or why they'd see it as negative. I didn't perceive his actions as negatively at all. As a matter of fact, I was thinking here is a sane person, who after listening to the life Smith had, felt empathy and emotion regarding her life, and surely over what was to happen to Smith's baby girl. I think most of us can at least perceive that her life must have been very dysfunctional. I even think there was a good chance that she was mentally delayed and that people took advantage of that. Really though, this entry is more in regard to peoples response to the judge than Smith's life. This morning, as I was listening to some morning talk show that was talking about the judge so negatively, even saying he was over-acting in hopes of getting his own TV show, I was perplexed. I didn't even come close to having that perception. Sometimes, I don't get peoples bitterness and loose accusations. Here is a judge who had the audacity to feel emotion, and he is considered the abnormal one. Don't get it. (Comment on this)
1:59 pm	Repressed Anger Last night Jon and I were playing around with me trying to throw popcorn into his mouth from a distance. I was sitting on the love seat, him on the couch, and I'd throw the popcorn at different speeds and height, attempting to make it so that he could catch it. He'd bob his head around, making it close a few times to where it would bounce off the side of his mouth. We never actually were successful one time even. But, it was fun. Today, as I cleaned up the remnants of the popcorn we didn't pick up last night, I started thinking of when we were fairly newly married, about 3 years or so. We would sit across from each other and throw a ball at each other as hard as we could. It was soft, so we knew we weren't going to hurt each other. We'd use all the effort we could muster up, aim and throw with as much accuracy as we could to hurl it to/at each other to catch. We never spoke of any anger at that time, would even laugh a little while we were doing it, but never carried it over further into our lives. Those times were never planned, nor even spoken about. We just did it instinctively. Later, we did realize we were relieving some repressed anger we may have had been feeling. (Comment on this)
Thursday, December 7th, 2006
7:12 pm	I could just scream. My paycheck is almost never right these days. Last Monday I went to the payroll office to check on why I wasn't paid night shift diff on my vacation cash in check. They told me it was an error, and an additional check would be sent to me. Today I got that check, and it was great to see. Then, I open my regular paycheck, and it is short a whole 12 hours, and I am sure it does not include times where I had to stay late. I don't have proof of my exact hours though, so I can't back that up with any substantial certainty. This has happened with some regularity for the last six months or so. And, I am very tired of it. This has started happening to quite a few of us since this new guy was hired. Even worse than that, he has a bad attitude and gets defensive, even though he is the one in error. I have never forwarded my emails to Ray, our department director, that I write to this guy, but this time I will. I am going to be sure to address the frequency of these occurences too. I am tired of this. And, I don't want to have to go to someone to correct my paycheck, then wait for them to cut me an additional check. Like I said, I could scream. (5 Comments |Comment on this)
5:06 pm	As if December didn't carry a full enough schedule already for us, two birthdays and Christmas of course, Hannah and Meggan both had a concert Tuesday. It meant Jon had to take Hannah, and I had to take Meggan separately to each event. That has almost never happened before. I wished so hard that I could be at Hannah's chorus event, children singing Christmas carols is too cute. Hannah was so excited too. She is just cuteness all over. I did enjoy Meggan's orchestra concert though. They had both the band and orchestra performing separately, switching back and forth. I liked the bands performance, the banging of the drums, the pure loudness of the instruments. Orchestra is different: It has a lower soothing mixture of sounds. The orchestra sound is more subtle than the bands, but it makes me lose myself in the music more. I was surprised to find this preference out about myself because I am sure that when I was younger, I would've liked the band music better. I just thought that was fascinating. Reminds me that I have to get out my Trans-Siberian Orchestra CD. I loved that CD last year. Maybe it'll help with my Christmas spirit. A cute thing happened on the way to the concert. As Meggan and I were driving to her school, we saw the most beautiful full moon. It was just gorgeous, and beyond descriptive words to describe. Meggan was wishing that we had the camera (we had decided Jon should take it to tape Hannah's performance) to take a picture of it. Meggan said, and this is the cute part, that the moon was wishing her luck on her orchestra performance. Isn't that sweet? As I have hinted already, I am not feeling very Christmas like this year. I want to, and I do catch myself having little glimpses of the spirit, like when we went to The Nativity Story movie. I really enjoyed that movie. It told the story so well in context of what life might have been like living in those times, with a King who would sacrifice no one, not even his own son, in his efforts to maintain his power. It also made a moving love story of Mary and Joseph, of how she might have grown to love him. It was easy to understand and see her growing respect and admiration for the kind of man Joseph was, and their faith in God. A very effective, well told, illustrated, movie to me. I also liked the humor of the Three Wise Men (should Three Wise Men be capitalized?). I read a movie review that didn't like the humor the wise men had. But, I liked it very well. Also, the children got a stripe on their purple belt a couple of weeks ago, which means they are half way to getting a blue belt. They looked very elagent in their movements. It looks similar to a dance orchestrated for them to perform. A whole lot of fun to watch. I got to sit right up front too, as the Shanpai (?), the master leader, got me a chair down and invited me to sit there. I keep telling Jon he should go see them when they next go for their blue belt. He'd enjoy it too. Jen, one of the other karate students, stole the show though. She was attempting to get her brown belt. She was fantastic, even getting cheers from all the black belts with her performance. I understand that it takes a long time before she'll move up to her black belt. The instructors were enthusiastic and said, the brown belt was the funnest years, so to enjoy it well. You could see all their support and proudness in Jen. It was very touching, almost like she became a member of their group. Edit: I did get out the Trans-Siberian CD, and I am again enjoying it very well. (Comment on this)
Saturday, November 25th, 2006
6:37 am	1. What is more difficult for you, looking into someone's eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someone's eyes when they are telling you how they feel? Looking into someone's eyes when I am telling them how I feel. I feel comfort and trustworthiness in knowing other people's feelings. I feel vulnerable expressing my feelings. 2. Think of the last time you were REALLY angry. WHY were you angry?: I was angry when Jon assumed I was being mean by an action that I didn't even realize I did. I felt accused of reacting, and thus accused, of an action to which I wasn't even aware that I had done. It made me feel that I would be mean on purpose, which is not how I perceive myself to be. 3. You are on a flight from Honolulu to Chicago non-stop. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You have enough time to make ONE phone call. who would you call?: I would call Jon, tell him I love him, then tell him to take care of our children how WE (OK, I) want them to be taken care of. How long do I have anyway? 4. You are at the doctor's office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? What do you do with your remaining days? Would you be afraid?: No, not everyone. Probably wouldn't even tell my mom; I wouldn't be able to deal with her reaction. I'd hope all the ones I loved knew what I did while on earth was me loving them 'in real life'. I always hope that what I do now is the part they remember, not my death. I'd tell Jon so that he could help me prepare for death. I would be afraid, but I think as long as he is who he is, caring for our children the way that I would want him to, that I could be at peace with death. I'd let my children or loved ones choose something they'd like to do and do it with them, everyday, assuming I could. I don't think there is anything left that I NEED to do. It would be about me experiencing their dreams with them. But, I do fear death. I feel awe for people who can accept death. 5. You can have one of the following two things: trust/love. Which do you choose? I'd choose love. I want trust, but I need love. Question is, can one love completely without trust? 6. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late even once more, you are fired. Do you save the dog?: I'd WANT to save the dog. I'd even probably get a nice sign on bonus if I took another job. No, if I knew for sure I'd lose my job, I wouldn't save the dog. I can't imagine this scenario well for some reason. 7. You are unfaithful to your spouse/significant other. Do you tell him/her? Why or Why not? No, I wouldn't tell my spouse. I have been asked before whether a person should tell their husband they had a one night stand. I said she shouldn't. I think if you feel guilt, good for you. Live with it. Why make the one you love pay for your mistake? I don't know if she told him or not. Guess I don't want to know, as I care for him too. 8. Your best friend confesses that he/she has feelings for you more than just friendship. He/she is falling in love with you. What do you do/say? I think most people know this before it gets to the point that they tell you they love you. Keep the relationship at the level that it should be. But if it snuck up on you, be honest with the person. Tell them, respectfully, you care about them as a friend. That's it, but it doesn't have to end the relationship. 9. Think of the last person who you know that died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but you have to give one year of your life. Do you do it?: Grandma was the last person whose funeral I went to. She desired to put an end to her suffering after having had three strokes. I have faith in her that she wouldn't want anyone to give any of their life for hers. No, I wouldn't give her a year of my life for an hour of hers. I would though if her life had ended abruptly, and things were left unspoken to her loved ones. 10. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend?: No. I disappear for a period of time in most of my friends life. I'd think they feel like I am being neglectful sometimes. I still care about them, I just don't always express that as I'd like. 11. Does love = pain? Sometimes. Love is a very raw feeling that includes letting ones inhibitions down some. To love someone is to allow them to know you so well that they can/could hurt you. I don't think love equals pain, but pain is inevitable in life, usually by the ones we love the most, not that I expect the people I love to hurt me intentionally. It's just that it is the ones we are the most vulnerable to. 12. Your boss tells your co-worker that they have to let them go because of work shortage and they are the newest employee. You have been there much longer. Your co-worker has a family to support and no other means of income. Do you go to your boss and offer to leave the company? They would have to get a new job. I wouldn't give up my job for that person, though I'd feel sad and keep up with their situation, and hope I could help if need be. 13. When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt regardless of how difficult it was for you to say? What did you have to tell the person? Was it difficult? I told everyone tonight my leg hurts. I wanted some empathy which I felt like I wasn't being given. I even asked for help with the laundry. I don't like feeling vulnerable or asking for help. It was difficult. Meggan even commented on it, as did Jon, that I asked for their help. 14. What would be (or what was) harder for you to tell a friend, you love them or that you do not love them back?: I did not love them back. 15. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose?: Love. It gives me purpose in life. Without love, I'd be just living, not loving to live. 16. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them? Who are they to you? Easy. I love my mom, as I tell her everytime I speak with her. I told her a week or two ago as I was hanging up the phone. She tells me too, and even makes sure to tell me what she loves about me. Makes me feel special, even more so, that she identifies things about my personality that she loves. 18. Imagine. It is a dark night, you are alone, it is raining outside, you hear someone walking around outside your window. Who do you wish was there with you?: Jon. He'd save me. I just know that, even if he lost his life trying. I don't know why it has to be raining though. I love rain. 19. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying?: Yes. (Someone ate question #20) Because I feel selfish in all these answers and was expressing such to Jon, he said, what if someone asked you, would you risk getting a needle stick with AIDS blood, a disease with a difficult or no cure, would you do that job? I said yes. He loves me, what can I say? 21. You are holding onto your grandmother's hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go of one to save the other. Who do you let fall to their death?: I'd save the newborn. If I was a grandparent, I'd want them to save the newborn still. 22. Are you old fashioned?: I don't think so, not really. I am open to opinions, but I don't like change so much. Sound ambiguous? OK, maybe I am old fashioned with a twist. 23. When was the last time you were nice to someone and did NOT expect anything in return for it?: I don't ever ask for anything back when I am nice. I like niceness from other people, so I TRY to be nice, if possible. 24. Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a broken heart, or never loved at all? I don't want a broken heart. Sometimes I wish I didn't love so much that I could have a broken heart, but I'd rather love, with everything in me, than to only get a little love, if that is possible, from someone else. I want all of someones love or none at all. I'd take the broken heart over no love at all. 25. If you could do anything or wish anything, what would it be? I'd wish to live every moment, in the moment. I'd wish to have the courage to make great decisions and live true to me, always. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 21st, 2006
7:30 pm	I want to write a quick entry before I get to cleaning. I have had a great burst of energy for a Tuesday. Yesterday, I slept so hard that I didn't even realize Jon had gotten home early. He finally woke me up before it was time to take the children to karate classes. When he woke me up, I had a charlie horse that is causing my calf to be sore today. But, I feel much more rested today than usual, so goody for me. Last week I spent a lot of time, comparatively speaking, at Hannah's school. I went to a teacher-parent conference Thursday where the teacher and I barely discussed Hannah. Really though, what is there to discuss. Hannah is a great student. The teacher even asked me if my other children are like Hannah that way. They aren't necessarily, but that isn't a bad thing. I love the different personalities of all my children. I wouldn't change them for anything. Anyway, I now know Hannah's teacher career goals, educational history, dating, and even her present house arrangements. I even know about her dog. That teacher sure can talk, and that is good because I like talkative people. The meeting ended up lasting one and a half hours. Then Friday, I went to help in a book fair. I wanted to give all the children money so that they could get a bigger better book, but I resisted the urge. I also decided we should have given each child a piece of candy that was displayed in a jar to entice children to donate money to their class. Children who donated money got a five cent piece of candy. As you can imagine, most children wanted the candy, and donated JUST for the candy. Not that it goes to a bad cause. No, the money goes to a good cause; it lets the teachers choose books for their classroom. I decided I'd rather buy a book for the classroom instead of donate money, as I heard some teachers didn't pick up their money. I always wonder why our tax money isn't providing enough so that classrooms have all the books they could want, rotating books frequently between classrooms to keep the variety adequate. I cannot imagine how the richest country in the world does not have all the books we could want in every classroom. But, that is just me. Don't get me wrong though; I loved participating in the book fair. I always enjoy every time I volunteer for work at the girls schools. I also stayed to have lunch with Hannah because I didn't get out as early as I thought I would. I was glad I stayed too. Some teachers are pretty strict, and not every teacher should be a teacher. I am grateful though because for the most part, all our childrens teachers I have liked a lot. Most even still say hello to me when I meet them in the hallways, even Meggan's pre-K teacher. I think parent participation helps the student too. Keeps things in check, so to speak. Yesterday, I got a call asking if I would be on a school committee. Apparently, Hannah's gifted teacher referred me. The committee is formed so that I can read and give my thoughts whether a book should be available to children in the media center. My only fear is that I can't imagine there will be any books I don't want available to students, and also that she told me this was a several month commitment. I think I'll still do it. I am sure there will be enough parents who believe in censorship to the point that I could balance that out some. We'll see. OK, Hannah should be home soon. We should go shopping today. Hannah wants to cook brownies for the Thanksgiving dinner. I told Meggan she has to make something too, to which she hee-hawed about. I am going to insist Meggan makes something though. Everyone else has committed to helping. It'll be better for Meggan to know that she contributed too. She doesn't know she'll like it, but she will. Parents know those kind of things :). I do believe it though. Part of the fun of any holiday is contributing somehow, and she is old enough to start learning that lesson more. (Comment on this)
Thursday, November 9th, 2006
4:35 pm	A quick post before I run off to the grocery store. On Sunday, Jon cooked about 2lbs of fresh black beans. As you can imagine, that is a whole lot of beans, and the kids don't like food like that either. Jon laughingly told Meggan that she was going to have eat them all if she didn't get all her school work turned in. Meggan made a face at that. Anyway, I was thinking I should find a recipe for black bean soup, which I love and eat all the time at work. I went online and found a recipe, then looked through my soup cook book for another recipe. Then, I used them both, plus what the soup looks and taste like at work to create a recipe. The main thing I needed from the recipe was a base for the spices used. Of course, each recipe had different choices of spices, but I chose what I like. In addition to the spices suggested, I added some chipotle peppers and bay leaves, as well as some liquad smoke, all of which I love the flavor of. The soup turned out delicious. I am biased, as I love soup and usually eat it everyday. I mean that too. Everyday. The great thing is that the children liked it too. They ate it and didn't complain at all. Better than that, they were telling me how much they liked it. So yay. I used the rest of the black beans and have some yummy soup, so no waste. I hate wasting food. What I hadn't realized is that everyone loves biscuits here too. I'd made both cornbread and biscuits to eat with the soup. Turns out that I am the only one who ate the cornbread. Everyone else only ate the biscuits. Meggan even got up this morning and ate a biscuit for breakfast. So I figure, I should make more biscuits more often. (Wonder how many times I can say biscuit in one paragraph, ha ha.) And to sum it up, I get to babysit Alex some tomorrow. Woo Hoo. (Comment on this)
12:59 pm	My Evil Twin The best part of my weekend, without a doubt, was when I assigned Shantria, the lazy nurse, the new admission. See, I was in charge at work this weekend. I could've given the new admission to either her or Craig, and yes, out of sheer joy, I assigned the patient to Shantria. It was fun, but naughty. But, you should've seen the look on her face. It took her over an hour just to speak to me, and when she did, she squeaked out, "Where's Mary"? Yep, she missed Mary, her protector. Only sad part, the patient didn't come. Shucks! (6 Comments |Comment on this)